A client told me she was single with no children and wanted everything to go to her church. As I was finalizing the paperwork she started crying and said there was no way she could give anything to her son. That was the first I had heard of him. He was an addict, and she believed an inheritance would kill him within a day. So I built an incentive trust. There is money for him, on the condition that he goes through treatment and sees a doctor regularly to confirm he is clean. She left crying for a different reason. As a mother, she had found a way to leave him hope.
What I Said
From my September 10 Parents Edition workshop at the Cambria Hotel in Calabasas, lightly edited for readability.
They know that they're loved, they know that they will receive it, but they know also that it's not just given, they have to work for it. Incentive also is very important, 'cause there could be a drug situation, there could be criminal activity. You know, all kids are different, and unfortunately, you know, life happens to all of us, and I have a story about that as well.
So the lady, she told me that she's single and she has no children, and she wanted to leave everything to charity, to church. And when we were almost ready to finalize the paperwork, she started crying and saying, "Hey, there's no way I'm gonna give anything to my son." I'm like, "Hello, when were you planning to tell me about your son?" And she told me that he was a drug addict, and she thought if he received this inheritance, he'd overdose the next day. So as a mother, she was scared.
And that's where I introduced her to the option, the possibility of an incentive trust, where you can say, "Hey son, there is money for you, but you must be clean. You have to go through rehabilitation. You have to see a doctor every four months to make sure you're clean, and then you can get your monthly allowance or lump sum," whatever.
Now she was crying from happiness, because as a mother she now felt like, "Oh my God, I can provide for my son and maybe give him this hope, that there is something else for you." And it is beautiful. But I prefer a combination of all three, you know, depending on the child.
The full talk, written down: Who Picks Up Your Child From School if You Never Come Home?
More on this topic: Living Trusts
More From the Workshop
- Who Talks to the Bank When You Cannot?
- Someone Will Have Authority Over Your Child. You Decide Who.
- Write the Guardian a Letter. Include the Lactose Intolerance.
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